Невідʼємні / The Inseparables
My name is Olena Bilous, and I believe that a single click of a camera can change the world.
Невідʼємні / The Inseparables project delves into the emotions and lives of people waiting for their loved ones to return from the front lines, captivity, or occupied territories. This deeply personal project was born in August 2022.
Even before the full-scale invasion, my parents were in occupation under daily shelling in Donetsk. I was extremely worried about them and didn't realize something was wrong with me. All my friends experienced similar symptoms. I lost my health—depression, eating disorders, nightmares, panic attacks, hormonal and metabolic imbalances. All of this could have been prevented if there had been any information about possible conditions and ways to manage them.
Changes happen so slowly that you may not notice when you stop sleeping, and if you do sleep, you have nightmares, scratch your skin excessively, overeat to the point of pain, and much more. This all affects productivity. It was only through working with a psychologist that I understood it wasn't laziness but an illness. I overate just to hurt myself because physical pain made my soul feel lighter.
Now, I see more and more people repeating my experience. I understand that they, like I once did, are living in their own bubbles.
This became the motivation to create a project that helps people pay attention to their condition and gives them the choice to do something about it or not.
I asked the heroines of the project to share resources that help them cope with their new states. You will find their responses in the descriptions under the photos.
Psychologist Maryna Ohorodnichuk joined the project to provide a professional perspective on how to support oneself. You can watch the training here: YouTube.
Maria Kozakevych
She is raising three children, waiting for her husband to return from the army since March 3, and giving tours of her beloved Ivano-Frankivsk.
"My current front is home, children, work, and community activities. I have gained more strength, desire, inspiration, and a healthy anger, channeling them into meaningful endeavors."
"If you give a lot, you always receive in return. Good deeds come back to you through kind people and events, making you happy. You leave a good mark on this earth."
"We have learned to love more, to value every moment even more. We have learned to be grateful for each day. We have started to notice the little things: the sun shining – good, the rain falling – wonderful, the fog – incredible."
"Perhaps there is a bit of bitterness in our eyes, some sadness and longing, but there is also confidence that we will win. That we will go on to fulfill all our dreams. No other options."
Anna Vakaliuk
She is raising three children, waiting for her husband to return from the army since March 3, and giving tours of her beloved Ivano-Frankivsk.
"My current front is home, children, work, and community activities. I have gained more strength, desire, inspiration, and a healthy anger, channeling them into meaningful endeavors."
"If you give a lot, you always receive in return. Good deeds come back to you through kind people and events, making you happy. You leave a good mark on this earth."
"We have learned to love more, to value every moment even more. We have learned to be grateful for each day. We have started to notice the little things: the sun shining – good, the rain falling – wonderful, the fog – incredible."
"Perhaps there is a bit of bitterness in our eyes, some sadness and longing, but there is also confidence that we will win. That we will go on to fulfill all our dreams. No other options."
Tetyana Freishyn
In Ivano-Frankivsk, she is raising two sons and waiting for her husband. She founded the public organization "Warrior's Wife.
"In the circle of military wives, you can just come and talk, cry, and complain. There are many different moments in waiting, relationships, and connections. When talking to my husband, I am always careful because I understand it’s not easy for him there. But sometimes you want to complain and cry, and there’s no one to listen."
"You need to vent your emotions, redirect them somewhere, not keep them inside. It's like the example of a small cup. If we keep everything inside, the cup gets crumpled and never goes back to its original shape. We are the same inside, crumpled and squashed. Then psychosomatics arise."
"I thought I had already gotten used to waiting. I know what it’s like. But it’s exhausting. I noticed that I started getting sick with common colds more often because I hold a lot inside. So, I started attending a women’s support group to talk, listen, and understand how to cope with it. This gives me the opportunity to save myself."
Nastia
Waiting for her beloved and her father to return from the front
"I've been waiting for a long time, and I've become a very strong and independent woman. Plus, I live only with my mother; there is no one else. Just me and my mom. My mom is very gentle, like a flower. In our family, I am the man. We live in a house, and mowing the lawn is my job, doing heavy work is my job. I feel like I'm missing tenderness and weakness. I don't allow myself to be helped."
"Yesterday, a guy texted me saying he really wanted to hug me and feel his little girl next to him. And at that moment, you turn into that little girl. I really miss having him around. You forget about all the troubles, the grievances, and so on. You just want him to be there, to get him out of there."
"Everyday tasks, the things we do here and now, save our moral state. When you do routine work, you forget that things are bad elsewhere. But you mustn't forget about yourself. Because if we don't have the resources for ourselves, we don't have the resources to support them."
Olena
In 2014, I moved from Luhansk to Ivano-Frankivsk. I'm a mother of three children, waiting for my husband.
"I have three children, so I have to be not only a mother but also a woman who waits. This requires endless faith. Meetings with the wives of soldiers help me immensely. With them, you can talk or stay silent. You can cry, get angry—you can do anything."
"This is a circle of people who understand you not because they treat you well, but because they are in a similar situation, some even worse. We meet, and the women say, 'I haven't heard from mine in two months. I don't know where he is, or if he is even alive.' I realize that my one call a week is such a blessing."
"I believe that soon our family will be together. After dusk, there must be a dawn. I will definitely wait for my dawn."
Vitalina Maslova
Artist, has been living in Ivano-Frankivsk for four years, and founded a charitable foundation that implements projects supporting war participants and their families. She has her own method for support and recovery. She has three sons and is waiting for her husband to return from the army.
"If someone is struggling or wants to avoid struggling, they just need to walk a lot. People in the city don't have the opportunity to chop wood. In the village, I also mowed the grass, often went hiking in the mountains, and engaged in physical activity. These things really help. Using such methods prevents you from slipping into serious clinical depression that requires treatment."
"I believe that all mental problems should be addressed through physical activity, walks in the fresh air, warm baths, and massages. Psychological specialists cannot help if a person doesn't support themselves through these basic things."
"A large number of mental problems can be solved through diet. When a person simply forbids themselves from eating what they shouldn't. Diet, routine. Only then can we talk about emotions. You need to start with the basics; you can't talk about 'higher things' when there's chaos 'down below.'"
Olena Tymofiychuk
Born in Ivano-Frankivsk, waiting for her husband
"For the second year now, I have been singing in the cathedral choir at church. It saves me. Every Sunday I go, and it makes me feel better. We sing, then have morning coffee, and somehow the days pass slowly but surely. We hold on."
"I have a friend, and even before the war, we agreed to walk 20,000 steps every evening. We walk every evening if we have the strength, in any weather. We gather together and walk along Shevchenko Street to the lake. We walk the entire circle, chat, and then return."
Olha Kaminska
She has a son and a husband who is currently defending Ukraine
"My husband's sister's parents built a house 20 kilometers outside of Ivano-Frankivsk. They invested their whole lives into it, constantly renovating and taking meticulous care of it. When the invasion started, they invited us to stay with them. But I said I wouldn't go without our dog. We have a beagle, a crazy dog. They told us to come with the dog, even though our dog might scratch the floors with his claws or cause other damage."
"I work as a restaurant manager. In the morning, I go to work thinking I will manage, but then I'm told, 'We don't have a cook.' There was no menu either—just open the fridge and cook with what you find. I had to step in and start cooking. We didn't have many supplies—everything was closed, nothing was working. If we had eggs, we would spend two hours making scrambled eggs. In our kitchen, we had people who didn't know how to cook at all, but we needed to feed those evacuated from Kyiv."
"I am generally very strong. But when my husband was taken for military training, I went to see a psychologist. I was advised to give myself two weeks to cry and grieve. But instead, I wrote out a work plan and shared it with the psychologist. 'You can handle it,' they told me. The only thing they noted was that I am very critical and demanding of myself and others."
Natalia
A photographer from Ivano-Frankivsk, waiting for her fiancé
"I am motivated by seeing how much he wants to protect me, his family, his mother, and his loved ones. I am proud of his bravery, that he went and wasn't afraid. This is where I find my strength. And I have time to live. I can work, I can go out for coffee with the girls. I feel at least somewhat safe because he is there."
"Since the beginning of the war, I have volunteered for many organizations. We raised funds both in Kalush and in Ivano-Frankivsk. In Ivano-Frankivsk, I worked at the Grofa headquarters, a medical hub where we assembled first aid kits for the military. During the day, we made about 300-400 first aid kits and sent them to the front."
"A girl reached out to me for a photo session; her husband is also on the front lines. She said, 'You know, I feel better. I got a bit distracted—opened up.' She wanted to be beautifully captured on camera. Maybe she'll send these photos to her husband, and it will make him happy. For many people, a photo session is one way to distract themselves a bit, which somehow helps them cope mentally."
Svitlana
With her three children, she moved to Ivano-Frankivsk from Brovary in the Kyiv region. Together, they await the return of their father, who volunteered for the army.
"I reached out to psychologists online. We also gather every Thursday with the women from the 'Warrior's Wife' organization. We talk about various topics: the war, how to make the waiting easier, and what we can do here on the home front."
"I share my experiences with other mothers in similar situations. It somehow becomes easier when we support each other. It inspires, uplifts, and energizes us to know that we are holding on. Even doing something together to hasten Ukraine's victory gives us strength."
"It's important not to shut down and not to stay alone with your sorrow. It's very hard and eats away at you from the inside. This definitely won't help your husband or son. It’s more comforting for them to hear your calm voice, pleasant news that you are fine, that you are taking care of yourself and the children, doing things, even developing professionally, going to cafes, and that the children are studying and everything is okay. Because this is what they are fighting for. If we are okay, then they are okay too."
Ludmyla
She moved with her family from Kramatorsk in the Donetsk region to Ivano-Frankivsk. She has two sons, and her husband joined the army to liberate their homeland.
"I believe that we Ukrainians are a strong people. We will defeat them anyway. No matter how you look at it, they are wrong."
"In college, I had five close friends – I have found almost all of them now. I met one at the train station in Lviv; she was heading to Uzhhorod to stay with acquaintances. Another evacuated from Mykolaiv to Bulgaria. And one turned out to be living right next to my house in Ivano-Frankivsk. I’m glad that life has brought us together again; it's nice to have someone to talk to."
Iryna Kuzyshyn
Photographer, has been waiting for her husband with her daughter for four years now.
"Once, someone told me: 'You shouldn't fear for him, you should just believe. Don't dwell on the negative, visualize the positive, tune yourself to positivity. And it will all be so.' We are the creators of our future. And we must believe in Ukraine, in the future of our children, because who are we doing all this for?"
"Don't give up, believe in the person you're waiting for. Believe in their strength, character, and know that everything will be fine. Don't entertain negative thoughts."
"For the first month, we were abroad. We just didn't know what would happen here, so we went. And it's much worse there. Every alarm in Ukraine - and I imagine everything is burning down. You feel even heavier. Here, in Ukraine, I have my favorite occupation - photography. I'm with people. I forget myself at work. Maybe this occupation also helps somehow not to go crazy."
Kseniia
Moved with her children from the occupied city of Balakliia, Kharkiv region, waiting for her husband, a military man.
"My younger son is 11 years old, and thanks to him, I find the strength to keep going, to live on. For half a year here, I didn't look for a job. I wanted to go back home. But I found out that our house is gone. We have nowhere to return. I immediately found a job; I was very lucky—a company from Kyiv moved here, and they invited me to be a secretary. Now, work also distracts me."
"I accidentally found the 'New Wings' foundation, where they knit camouflage nets for our defender boys. I went there every day with my child for about two months. There are many displaced people from the Mykolaiv region, from Donetsk. We all bonded. We talk. We, the displaced people, have the same troubles, the same sorrows. Somehow, at this foundation, we met the girls. We have common interests. Sometimes we go for walks or rest together with our children. We've formed our circle of communication. It's much better than even compared to Zhytomyr. Besides the psychologist, I didn't talk to anyone there. Then I had a very severe depression. We lived in an apartment there; we spent 1.5 months in Zhytomyr. I rarely left the apartment to go to the store. My child and I went for a walk only twice during the entire time. Because I had constant depression. But here, it's better; especially since I found a job. It distracts me a lot."
Yulia
A mother of two from the small village of Krasylivka in Ivano-Frankivsk region.
Her husband was mobilized and is currently in eastern Ukraine.
"I'm a mother; I have to stay strong for the children. It's my responsibility. There are days when I don't notice anything. But when I receive a smiley from my husband - it means he's already in touch. It means everything is fine, thanks to God."
Mariana
A mother of three boys from Ivano-Frankivsk. Her husband first joined the territorial defense, then went to the front lines.
"You have to learn to switch gears because life goes on. You have to support those around you instead of getting fixated. Your children are watching you, they absorb your state, your hysteria or whatever it may be. You can't. Everything is fine with us, everything will be fine with us. You explain, you talk. There are certain trials we have to endure. Life goes on. Somehow you have to stay strong, confident."
"Anxiety won't disappear, it will keep resurfacing, reminding you of itself. But you can occupy yourself with something else, simply go wash, wash your hands, to focus on the process itself. Less TV. Less not just news, but analysts. Music, books, children, walks, a dog—find something of your own that will help you switch off. Otherwise, we're in for nothing."
